Full Show Transcript
Caty Hendriks: 00:03
Hello. Hello, hello everybody. we are Adrian and myself. Hi Adrian. Great that you are here.
Adrian Reid: 00:12
Hey, great to be here. Nice to see it.
Caty Hendriks: 00:14
Yes. So we’re going to talk about relations and um, in general investments, but of course also the link between the both of them and I just like to know from the people who are watching. Do you know anything about investments? Do you want to know anything about investments? I do. I do because I think it’s very important that in a relationship you invest of course, but also in the money part. So that’s why Adrian, I joined up because Adrian is a specialist about money. I’m not so much shall I learn a lot from Adrian and I hope and this meeting. So Adrian is a stock trader but there’s also an investment and we don’t dive too deep in it because then I don’t understand it anymore. Let’s see. Are we go along and um, and so let’s start with a question, Adrian, about investments in general. What does it mean for you and how do you, um, how long did you, perhaps you can introduce yourself a little bit about it.
Adrian Reid: 01:23
Let me, let me give you a quick, a quick background because one of the things I want to stress in this is a lot of people, a lot of couples are scared about money now. They may not be, you may not be consciously scared, but there is a hesitancy to talk about money and finances and investment in society in general. And one of my missions in, uh, in my training business, so I teach stock trading and I’ve been doing that for several years now. One of my missions is to really help people get through that stigma and that fear so they can face their investments and take action and be empowered. Um, and that’s true for individuals, but it’s also really, really important for couples. So because generally everyone comes to a relationship with a money blueprint with different beliefs about money and investment in different levels of risk tolerance.
Adrian Reid: 02:15
And it’s very challenging to be able to align to people on something as emotionally charged as money. And so I hope today what we’re going to be able to do is, is, uh, tackle a lot of that at least, or at least start that journey. So let me, let me step back a little bit and just tell you a little bit about my journey. So I’ve been trading stocks now for 15 years and I started a very small, basically with a dream that I didn’t want to work forever. I just wanted to be free. I saw what my dad did in early in his, uh, in his career and he just worked his guts out. And uh, you know, he was a, he was a slave to the corporate machine. He traveled all time. It was always a way whenever he was at home, he was working hard up and short tempered and frustrated and all of those things.
Adrian Reid: 03:08
And so I saw early on that the lack of financial freedom was a problem in life. Now it wasn’t a problem for my parent’s relationship. My parents had an amazing relationship, which I absolutely aspire, uh, to, to replicate and to build on. But I could still see that there was tension and issues because there was a lack of financial freedom. So early on, you know, 15 years ago I decided that that wasn’t going to be me, so I started learning to invest and I basically fumbled my way around for about three years, just trying different things, losing money, you know, up and down, up and down, up and down, not really getting any way. And then one day I stumbled across this book, which changed everything for me and a white boy with the details of the book, but basically what it was is a series of interviews with a whole bunch of different investors in facts.
Adrian Reid: 04:04
It’s traded. And what I learned was all of those amazingly successful people had their own method which fit their personality and their personality and their objectives. And the great thing about that is that we’ll all at peace, they, oh, found it easy and they could make their decisions in flow. And so you could just see in their words and in their interviews, they just loved it. Right? And so I realized at that point that for, if I was to be successful, I had to have that too. I had to find my myth at, you know, the, the person that fit, fit my personality and my lifestyle I wanted. And as soon as that became my jenny, as soon as I found a method that suited me, that fit my personality, fit my lifestyle, fit my objectives, it all became easy. The stress came out of the money conversation.
Adrian Reid: 04:58
Does that make sense to you? Them then the relationship can grow and flow just absolutely. And in, you know, if, if we just taught the money in the relationships, a paste together, um, I’ve, I’ve taught, I’ve taught countless traders, I’ve helped hundreds of people with their, with their financial decisions in their trading decisions and trading strategies. And what I see over and over again is lack of alignment between partners. And that’s all very well and good for me to say I’m going to try it and I’m going to invest in, you know, the Nigerian stock market. And I’m gonna take. I’m gonna borrow money against my house because all to make it big because I see this amazing thing happening. Don’t do that by the way. OK, that’s as an example, but if my partner, my wife is completely freaked out by that and rightly so because it’s a stupid idea, but if she was, then you can imagine the tension, right? Because I’ve done something I believe in. She has a completely different set of beliefs and every single little thing that goes wrong, it’s going to cause friction in a relationship every little up and down. It’s going to be, see, I told you so and then there’s going to be, but hey look, it’s working and I’m going to make it rich and you’re not supporting me and this and that, and that sort of conversation is what we absolutely want to avoid in relationships when it comes to money.
Caty Hendriks: 06:30
Yeah, that’s very cool because it’s. Well, I just see it in my coaching sessions that money is a big item. It’s talking about money at least, and what you said, objections with also the blueprint we have. Their sex is one of course, and the children, those are three very hot topics and um, depends on yourself and your blueprint and when you learn. So, so far. So how did you get aligned there? Uh, did you have the system or that you just talked about it or what is it, what you did there, which are, for instance, making your partner relationship.
Adrian Reid: 07:06
How did you find your blueprint? Because it was kind of by accident that I realized that I had missed this because I was always going along trading and my wife and I, we were, um, what do I ha, happy now? Relationship things were going well and always being pretty conservative in my, in my trading. And I got to a point where I wanted to increase my risk just a little bit. You know, I just wanted to be a little more aggressive, but still I’m a pretty conservative kind of invest in my risk of exploding and losing everything is, is, um, is very, very low. And so I sort of tentatively approach this conversation with my wife and said, look, you know what? I want us to change what I’m doing a little bit and she’s like, her response was, that’s fine as long as you don’t lose the house, not my response.
Adrian Reid: 08:03
What do you mean don’t lose the house? Like, you know, whatever you do is fine. I trust you. Just don’t lose the house. Was like, how would I lose the house? Does that? Well, like I didn’t know you’re the one doing the trading, just don’t lose the house. And I, you know, w when we dug into it, we actually. This actually started the dialogue and I think that’s the key is deep discussion about what do you want, what do I want, what do we understand about each other, what we’re actually doing. It’s the same as your other conversations, Katie, the having bad relationships, you know, when you talk about sex, when you talk about children, all of that. It’s about alignment. And so we had this situation and I, we, we, we actually dug into the conversation about risk and risk tolerance and I had always assumed that that my wife was very conservative and she is.
Adrian Reid: 08:54
But I’m also think when it comes to investing and so, so she said, look, I’m OK, as long as you don’t lose the house, and I figured out what I would have to do financially to lose the house. You know, how much risk I would have to take, how much will I would have to borrow and how badly I would have to try it and all of those things. There is no way in hell I’m ever going to happen. I couldn’t imagine remotely taking that much risk because this would never happen. And that for me was a good realization because I was way down from the threshold of pain in the relationship. If something happens, like there’s a, there’s a, there’s a level of event or money loss or volatility that would cause friction in most relationships I would say operating way down here, well below that threshold, which was great. So we knew we didn’t have that sort of argument, but you imagine if it was the other way around, if I was the very aggressive one and she was a very conservative one and we didn’t realize that the problem because that’s when you’ll constantly be banging up against someone else’s pain. Threshold of pain fee. It stress about money.
Caty Hendriks: 10:07
Avoid. Yes. And you said one very important thing because she said I assumed that she was as conservative as I am and that’s the big, big issue. Not only in your conversation there but in everything because we assume our partner knows us and after a couple of years it’s likely that they know us, but still when we do do those assumptions, it’s killing just like you just explained or so or rights. And so a really good example. So grades, but w, why do you think it’s so important? Because I really want to notice and so important to to be financially free because that was your journey. Your wife went along actually, but why is it so important in the relationship to to have this kind of freedom? Because I’m not yet, but I’m still very happy in my relationship. So why do I. Yeah. I, I think I can say that you should ask my husband to check in. But uh, so, so, so why is it important to be financially free in the relationship? Because they wanted. OK, but why is it families, is it important?
Adrian Reid: 11:19
OK, cool. So look, I think most people are unwilling to talk about money openly in our relationship and in our family. We try very hard to have open conversations, you know, with the kids, know about our net worth, the kids know about our investment strategies, the kids know about stock trading. And I’ve actually taught my two younger kids a lot of the fundamental principles of stock trading. If we have that sort of open conversation about money, the stress goes away. So I’m going to only talk about openness about money then financial freedom because they to two steps in the path. So by having that sort of open conversation regularly, it makes it easy for us to talk about any money related issues. You know, a new investment opportunity pops up that we hadn’t dreamed of taking and we had one of these just a just a couple of weeks ago where an investment opportunity was presented to us that was so far outside our comfort zone. But boy, it was an amazing opportunity. And so we had the conversation. We agreed, let’s, let’s dig into it and see if we can make it work, see if we can get the finance done, see if we can get the deal. It was a big property development project and so because we have such a good history of open free money conversations where we share our issues and concerns in a family without holding anything back on without fear of repercussions, it was very easy to explore this big, big deal that it was. It was probably,
Adrian Reid: 13:07
almost a hundred times bigger than anything else we’ve looked at. Now we could have done it. The deal fell through. Someone else took it. Um, but the fact that we could have that conversation easily, it was amazing. We took the kids through the deal and like they asked a bunch of questions because the kids have played the cashflow game and looked at property investments and all that sort of thing, so we took them through it as well, so they are now comfortable having that conversation. So I think the first four for financial freedom and finances in their relationship, the first step is to get comfortable talking about it and sharing because it’s only by being comfortable doing that, that you can raise your uncertainty or your fears or your um, uh, or your, you know, your concerns.
Adrian Reid: 13:50
And if you kind of do that, then money is always going to be a stress point in the relationship. I would say the first step is to deal with that, get it comfortable with discussing it. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s money, it’s just money, you know, it’s, it’s just little bits of metal law, paper or plastic. It’s not a big deal. It’s what we make it mean the worth. We get it right and the word we put on ourselves because of how many of these things we have. Right. Which is ridiculous because we’re all, we’re all amazing, intelligent, incredible beings and we’re not measured by how many of these we’ve got. No, no, no. So you know, let, let’s get past the fact that the stigma and everything about money and just be willing to discuss it with our loved ones with the kids because if you can discuss it with the kids and they don’t, they didn’t grow up with that stigma and those issues. How much better off and that you to be. Yeah, they are a lots. We’re teaching our
Caty Hendriks: 14:52
son the steps we learn now and we take him along. So I hope he doesn’t have those stigmas later on when he’s a investing or making his money work for him because for me, financial freedom is also very important. I’m not there yet, but we’re working towards it. So what’s the next step? You just talked about? One, because one was openness and talk about it and the second one was,
Adrian Reid: 15:14
well, it’s about then then, then using that to go and get financial freedom. The financial freedom you need to, I believe in a relationship. You need to have the openness that you can discuss and do the things you need to do to get free. If we weren’t able to have those discussions, we would have made very different decisions in our relationship, which would’ve probably caused us to be trapped and not be free, which helps you by which car you buy, what you know, where you live, what trips you go on, where you spend your money, where you invest your money. All of those things are critical for achieving financial freedom. So why do we want to achieve financial freedom? Well, I’m familiar with. It’s going to be different for everyone, but I think fundamentally it’s about choice.
Adrian Reid: 16:01
Do we want to have to get on the bus for an hour and sit in traffic every day to go and sit in a cubicle and do a job that someone else tells us to do and then go home, eat, sleep, and do it again? Do we want to have to do that? Well, many people love their job and that’s great. OK, and I fully respect that, but you can love your job and also have the choice whether you do it or not. That’s cool. It’s a game changer because the year that I made more money trading, then I made money in my job. Like the whole world changed for me. In my mind it was just like, oh, I have so much more choice now. Cool. And it’s a sense of security, interest sensitive for me, a sense of kind of possibility, like, OK cool. I’m loving what I’m doing right now, but you know, I can imagine that in six months or 12 months or whatever, I might go do something totally different.
Adrian Reid: 16:56
We might jump up and move country. We could quit our job and just spend six months together hanging out and, you know, being a family. Um, the financial freedom for us has allowed us to experiment with the way we run our family. You know, we’ve done. Most people have husband goes to work, wife stays home or husband and wife both go to work. Uh, we’ve tried, husband goes to work, wife stay at home, wife goes to work, husband stays home, we’ve tried both go to work. That really sucked because the nanny did all the work with the kids and now and now we’re both at home and so there’s a whole different dynamic in the family and the relationship because we get so much time together and I love that. I’m very happy and I, I think we’re very blessed to be able to do that and I would love for everyone to be able to do that. I think that’s why financial freedom is so important because they want to spend more time with them. I mean, that would, you know, if you’re on your own because some people are, that’s cool. If you’ve got financial freedom, you’ve got the choice to do whatever you want. You can travel, you can experience different things. You can, um, you know, the, there’s all sorts of freedoms that open up to you when you don’t have to get on that bus in traffic for an hour every day. And then for eight or 10 or 12 or 50.
Caty Hendriks: 18:14
Anything else? I totally agree, yeah, I love this freedom that I can choose every day where I want to work, what work I want to do with whom I want to do it, et Cetera, et cetera. So that’s the freedom I already have the financial freedom something next because for us it would be that we can show our son also how it is in other countries and how other cultures works and that’s important to have respect for each other, et Cetera, et Cetera, but also, um, that he learns how it works and have the freedom to choose later to spend time to get to a more time. Then indeed what you’re saying, everybody went away a own ways and work and go to school, et Cetera. So yeah, that would be really awesome. And next to this, help other people with the money I earn with my financial freedom. And I know it’s important for you too.
Adrian Reid: 19:09
Yeah. I think the next, the next thing, not that, that’s a good segue into the next thing, which is legacy. I mean, you know, we could work our whole lives and if we, if we never invest in those free, there’s only so much you can do for the world when you’re no longer here. But if, if we can achieve financial freedom and then grow a legacy, there is just so much more impact we can have on the world, um, both on our immediate family and also in the world will more broadly depending on, you know, where you want to kind of put your emphasis. So, uh, you know, I was asked by a close friend of many years ago, why is this investment thing so important to you about money? Like what do you want so much money. And um, yeah, she was, my friend was very much into um, you know, social causes and volunteering and helping people and all of that.
Adrian Reid: 20:04
And um, my response was though you can, you can do this work and it’s wonderful, but if you had 100,000,000 dollars or 100,000,000 dollars might be too big a number for some people to imagine. OK, what about just a million you can still leverage and get so much more impact once you’re free and if you wanna, if you wanna, if you wanna volunteer your time and help more people, you’ve got more time because you’re free. So money and time is a pretty amazing combination and uh, you know, that’s, that’s another reason why it’s important to think, to be free and to help people be free.
Caty Hendriks: 20:46
Yeah, I totally agree.
Adrian Reid: 20:48
What is in the US, what is important in investment or trading or how to start a course and how to keep learning, but also a, should you have a system or just looking at papers or what is it, um, what you can recommend to people who don’t know that much about it. Yet in the comments below this video, I posted a link to a pdf document you can download the free. That’s, that’s 10 lessons I learned about stock trading. I call it the 10 kilometers of a enlightened stock trading. So some of it’s in there, but let me kind of give you a quick overview of the most important thing is to understand yourself because with all investment, no matter what anyone tells you, there’s a degree of risk and we need to understand our own risk tolerance and levels of comfort so that we can choose a level of a type of investment that matches the way going to be comfortable with. Yeah. Let me give you an example. If I am comfortable with a certain amount of risk and I take an investment that has a large amount of volatility, the end, the value of that investment goes up and down much more than my level of comfort. How do you think? I feel not so good. Guess you get worried, you get stressed, you get fearful that you’re going to lose all your money, and what happens when that. So your motion is going up. When your emotion goes up, what happens to your intelligence goes down.
Adrian Reid: 22:28
Relationships. Also, if we’re fighting in our relationship, we say the most stupid things. We don’t say the most intelligent things and if we fighting in our relationship about money, it’s about us because they’re so stressed about money and we’ve got the relationship stress, right? So the first thing is understand yourself, and when I teach stock trading, one of the first exercises I go through is a game to help people understand their risk tolerance. OK? Now the mistake a lot of people make is that they do it for just themselves. If be. If I was to teach you how to make money trading stocks, which I could certainly do, and I only talk to you and you only think about you, we’ve missed a very critical part of the equation. What is my partner about? Right? So not only do you need to understand your own kind of risk profile and objectives, but also partners because we need to come to some sort of match that will help keep the relationship that the family unit comfortable.
Adrian Reid: 23:35
Now, it’s not about being complacent or about taking a risk, but it’s about making sure that no one is freaking out and no one’s emotion of fear is out of control. Because as soon as that happens, the couple starts making bad financial decisions and if that happens, you’re never going to get free of a first step. Get it, get awareness and comfort with your own level of risk tolerance and objectives and with your partners. Make sure that you can, you know, for my, a set of objectives that is right for you as a couple, not just you individually. Make sense?
Adrian Reid: 24:14
Cool. The second step is to find an investment strategy that you want to learn. Now, a lot of people think, well, my wife isn’t interested in shares on, my husband isn’t interested in shares or you know, I don’t. I don’t like property. My wife runs deeper, like you don’t need to necessarily align on the vehicle. I don’t, but you do need to see someone needs to take the lead and do it. And the other needs to trust. Now part of that trust is having really open, honest communication and being aligned on your objectives and your risk tolerance. And so if one person wants to trade shares and the other person isn’t interested in trading shares, this is the case for me. Um, yeah, definitely my wife knows all about what I do, but we’d never do it for herself if I wasn’t around. So I do the share trading, I communicate with her about how it’s going and what my strategy is in a way my risk is and all of that.
Adrian Reid: 25:18
And you know, she asked questions to get comfortable and I continue on the share. Trading is my passion. It doesn’t have to be her passion now I think I can, I can help us get free by doing something I want to learn and keeping her informed and in the loop and having the discussion. We didn’t both have to do it, but she is great at and interested in other things. So she will focus more on, on property. I forget why I would focus more on sheds for instance. Yeah. And um, you know, we share, we um, we share way. Um, we both do a little bit of each but someone has to drive each piece. Yeah. And hotter it is the discussion about who’s going to do it and you know, it’s no, it’s no good trying to do something that you hate because you’re never going to do it consistently.
Caty Hendriks: 26:10
No. But that’s also the same in the rest of the relationship is some people like doing the garden for instance. I hate doing the garden, so we also, they’re split tasks. So that’s the same in the trading or the investments
Adrian Reid: 26:24
investing. Absolutely. Right. So you know, some, someone has to keep track of the finances, someone has to do the stock market decisions, someone has to kind of manage the properties and someone has to decide when to buy and sell gold and keep track of the precious metal. Oh, like what? Whatever you do, it can be divided up between you, but they needs to be a may meeting of the minds eye, a conversation to check in on how it’s going because it’s important for the family unit that, you know, everyone understands what’s going on.
Caty Hendriks: 26:57
Yeah, yeah. OK, clear. What is it? Um, how do you learn about it? So we can read books. Uh, we of course download your tips, um, and then where did you start? Do you need a lot of money? That’s, that’s my blueprint. You need a lot of money to make investments.
Adrian Reid: 27:20
Uh, yeah. Right. And look, that’s so common as well. OK? Where to start? The first thing is to start with your own education, no matter what investment strategy or if you’re looking at buying properties or trading shares or um, you know, choosing a fund manager or uh, you know, any sort of investment that you’re going to do, you need to choose that vehicle and set some objectives and you need to learn about it because if we’re not, I mean, have you ever made a decision? Have you ever made a decision without a good level of understanding of all of the different implications of that decision?
Caty Hendriks: 28:03
I think I did, but then it was the wrong one. And if I invested first, then the eh chance was very likely that it succeeded. Yes.
Adrian Reid: 28:14
So a lot of people will jump to invest quickly because I know I need to invest. I’ll just buy some stocks. I know facebook, I know Google, I know apple, whatever it is, but that early investment is far better placed in your learning than in the market. I would much rather see someone buy some books, study a course, get a mentor, get some coaching to learn the foundational principals so they can then launch with confidence. Doesn’t make that investment in your learning education. First you’re going to launch in all excited, all enthusiastic about you begin to be a millionaire next week and then you start losing money and you wonder what happened and you can’t follow it. True. You don’t know. I just don’t have the confidence, the learning and the education. The mentoring is what’s going to give you the confidence to follow it through because every investment strategy has its ups and downs, right? And if you want to follow, if you want to push through the downs to get to the ups, you need to have that confidence and that way and education. So if you want to learn to trade stocks, you need to find a mentor or a program or a course to learn. Stop trading. You can, of course learn from books and people can do that. I taught myself from books, but it took 100 books and three years.
Adrian Reid: 29:36
That’s like a fate worse than death for most people. So I don’t people do that. It’s cheaper and quicker to just do a course and um, and get some mentoring. But some people like to live, to learn themselves through books and that’s fine. But, um, for me, one of the big, uh, principles to think about for financial freedom is opportunity costs. I could spend five years learning it myself and that’d be amazing. I’d feel pretty good about myself, but it’s five years if I spent learning under someone’s coaching or by doing a program or course, then I’ve got four and a half years to invest. I’m going to be way ahead compared to if I’d spent five years trying to teach myself.
Adrian Reid: 30:22
Yeah, I agree. Um, I think you know how to do it, you know, I would suggest people choose a vehicle, property, real estate, commodities, whatever it is, and then start to educate yourself. Do a bit of rating to finding areas within that that you’re particularly interested in. And then once you know where you want to focus, good deep and learn that and then stop. Yeah. Yeah. OK, cool. But then still you need a lot of money. Adrian isn’t right. I forgot about that piece. Um, so look, I think that’s a common perspection perspective. Um, but I would say it’s never, it’s never too early to stop because you can, if you start investing in your knowledge and education about financial freedom and investing now, once you’ve, once you’ve got a strategy that you’re comfortable with, that you understand, how much easier is it going to be to find that money in your life to get into that strategy, invest in it because you’ve got the confidence, right?
Adrian Reid: 31:27
Yeah. Contrast that to the person who doesn’t do any training or learning or education, doesn’t have any competence, wants to invest. It’s very easy to say, oh, I want to buy a property. Well, I need heaps of money to do that. So yeah, I’ll do it later when I’ve got a pay rise, when I get a big bonus check from my boss when I get an inheritance way when something else happens externally. Yeah. So yeah, but the education is cheap typically. I mean, you know, you might have to spend a few thousand dollars to learn. That’s fine. But um, it’s cheap compared to what you’re risking being uneducated and it’s cheap. It could by doing the learning you can get the confidence to go find the money to invest. I mean I started, I started trading with very, very little money to $75,000 and as soon as always confident was very easily able to change my lifestyle to save more money, to put more money into my trading account to make it grow faster because I had that confidence. So you had the mindset that you knew that it was worthwhile and you learned already about it
Caty Hendriks: 32:40
and then you saw the importance of putting money away or aside for that part.
Adrian Reid: 32:48
Right? Right. So I would, I mean I worked very, very hard early in my career to have to put money aside, to save money, to invest with, to get free because that was my objective. Yeah. But I would not have been able to do that had I not had the confidence in my strategy had I not learned a strategy. Otherwise you just save your money and putting in a bank account. I mean, that’s never going to get you free because, you know, money in the bank only gets less and less valuable over time. You need to actually put it somewhere where it can grow. And so, um, you, you can do that with confidence once you have the, the education. Um, so do you need a lot of money to invest? No, you need a little education. You need to invest in your education so that you can find the money because you can trade with very little money.
Adrian Reid: 33:33
I mean, you can open up an account and trade four x or, or days or a few different instruments with a few hundred dollars if that’s what you had. Now if you want to, if you want to trade stocks, you probably need a little more money. If you want to buy a property, you probably need a little more money, but let’s say you learn a lot about property. This is a great example because a lot of people say, I can’t get into the property mathy, it’s market. It’s too expensive. Expensive money, right? But did you realize that if you had to know to just go and find a good deal and you came to came to someone who has money with that deal, you could split the deal with them or you can sell them the deal so you can invest without having any money if you have the knowledge. So I think it’s a tempting excuse. I don’t have any money. How can I invest? But everyone can invest in their education and learning and everyone can have start having money conversation to open this up in the household. Yeah, and those two things that will change the game.
Caty Hendriks: 34:40
I’d say I totally get it now, so I just have to start investing in my learning there and the same as I do in relationships. I learned their hips, so I started doing that in a investing two and then they’ll get the confidence and then actually everything you’re talking about the blueprint actually about, um, talking with each other, the openness, the trust, the confidence you need in yourself. Actually that is the same blueprint as you need in relationships in Tulsa, right? Completely the same. Actually, no, I liked that much. Unnecessary, but I never realized that for me it’s in relationships. It’s very clear. I also see it in business. You can do the same step in business, but I never realized that’s what the money part in the investment part. It’s actually the same too. So I wouldn’t mind learning are already.
Adrian Reid: 35:34
Let me ask you this, where we could argue about lots of things in our relationships, right?
Adrian Reid: 35:42
For most people, money is probably right near the top.
Adrian Reid: 35:47
Why, why is that?
Caty Hendriks: 35:50
Because the same as children and sex, it’s, they feel that they are, um, uh, they have to justify themselves in their actions, in what they are doing because it’s so loaded with emotions and they are they afraid of the attack of your persons on them. So they already start to attack first so that they don’t get hurt. But if you do net at the end, both, I’ll get her actually. But. OK. Um, so I think it’s because of all the emotions attached to it and everything we learned in the past about it.
Adrian Reid: 36:30
You’ll see different. No, I absolutely agree. And you imagine if you could take all of that charge out of it, out of the money conversation. If you could just talk freely about what you want to do, where you want to invest, what your fears are, w you know, what your concerns are and getting that from your partner and then come to an alignment. You know, eliminating the money. Stress goes a long way towards improving your relationship. You know, w when things go well, financially it’s easier. And when things get going a bad, financially it’s harder. It’s just, I mean, I don’t know why it’s just we need money and weight depending on our spouse or our partner to, um, to work with us on that. But if we eliminate that by dealing with it, by getting free, by investing while and by aligning with each other, the whole relationship becomes better.
Caty Hendriks: 37:28
it is, it is. Actually, we’re on the same spot as, in our last discussion with mindy. That’s the same conclusions and actually that you have to start together and talk together about what is important for you. Which values are important, just the same as you said in money. What is important there in values? Do you want to invest or d, um, what’s the word? Do you, um, uh, wanted to take high risks or low risks? Um, so talk with each other what is important for you and decide on that. And then you take the next step and then you say, OK, what’s the goal? And then take the next step, but putting actions to it. So actually saying there too, as in relationships as in money. And I think in our next talk about sex, and we’ll do the same steps,
Adrian Reid: 38:20
is you don’t have to talk about money and [inaudible] and the same conversation because that just want to pick up on something you said about, about, about the risk because you know, it’s very easy to gloss over some of this. Now. Let’s say we’re having a conversation about risk and you say, well, you know, I’m a very conservative person. I don’t want to invest in the stock market. Well, I’m a very conservative person. I don’t want to do a property development. I think what I would encourage you to do, not just you, but everyone listening is separate. Those two statements. I’m a conservative person and I don’t want to invest in the stock market. One doesn’t follow the other. I would say it’s the, it’s the way you invest that determines the riskiness of the investment. It’s not necessarily the instrument that you’re investing in. I’ve had countless people come to me and say, I’m kind of interested in the stock market, but I’m, I’m really conservative. So I’ve done trading is the right thing for me. And I’m like, are you kidding?
Adrian Reid: 39:35
The reason people think that trading is risky or or aggressive is because of these crazy movies that they watch, and I like the wolf of Wall Street and unnecessary to crazy stuff where you know, they, there’s this perception that the stock market or some other financial instrument is hugely risky. It’s not, it’s the behavior that’s risky. So what I would encourage you to do when you’re having a conversation with your partner about risk and riskiness and objectives is just be really clear. If you say to me, I’m conservative. OK, what exactly does that mean? You know, if you, if you were to invest 10,000, 50,000, 100,000 dollars, euros, whatever, in an investment, how much volatility would you be comfortable with on the web, on the journey to making money? Not just unconservative shouldn’t invest. That’s a cop-out because that person will never be free because I’ll leave that money in the bank now though I broke, which sucks, and that’s negative views and are good for your relationship and saying good for your kids and it’s no good for the world. It doesn’t. Do anyone any good, but if you take it a little bit further and you explore, OK, yeah, I’m a conservative. What that means is I’m willing to put up with, you know, at 10 percent fluctuation in the account, you have my investment or willing to have a very small probability that I lose my money.
Adrian Reid: 41:05
Whatever it means for you. Explore that more deeply because by doing that, it frees you up to then design a strategy that you, that you can do. You know, I’ve, I’ve designed trading or investing strategy trading strategies with all sorts of different objectives. You know, I’ve had students who can only make 10 trades a month and we designed an amazing, fantastic trading strategies for that student. I’ve had students who come to me completely scared and freaked out by the idea of putting money in the stock market who are now trading actively because they figured out what was their risk profile in detail. Like specifically, not just afraid, you know, don’t, don’t be that person. Be Willing to dig into it and by digging into it, you can get clear. By getting clear, you get options. Alternatives become clear to you that, OK, well I can do this, this one doesn’t fit me. That one’s sort of works and you can then start to take action and that’s what’s going to drive you towards freedom.
Caty Hendriks: 42:09
Yeah. Yeah. Because both are not connected to the vehicle and the decisions. Essential decisions about yourself and the risk you want to take. Yeah.
Adrian Reid: 42:18
What you want to say? Yeah. But most people tie all that up together and I don’t want my money, but you know, we’ve got to separate all that out. You still want to separate them all and then find a combination that works for you and your relationship. Then you can start the path towards freedom.
Caty Hendriks: 42:40
Yeah. I could talk for hours and hours just because it makes sense and you’re so passionate about it. I liked it very much. It’s very, um, inspiring to listen. Can I get this feeling like, OK, let’s start this.
Adrian Reid: 42:56
Caty Hendriks: 42:58
But what I learned first from you now is to infest in talking about it, but especially about learning about it. So do you have some good tips? Were to learn about it the. Because you said books, but for me, books wouldn’t work. Some people do of course, and different communication styles, but um, they can do it with you of course, because I know you have kind of a, um, you have courses, the trainings, um, but also for people who doesn’t know anything yet and want to start.
Adrian Reid: 43:33
Yeah. I mean, one of, when you start the research process, what you’re really trying to do is find an area that appeals to you so that you can go deep. You want to stay pretty shallow until you find that area of interest that you’re going to actually invest yourself in. You know, there’s, there’s countless resources online for this sort of thing. But if you, um, if you started just by looking at say something like Investipedia, right? It’s a website that’s got information on all sorts of investment strategies, uh, and all sorts of interesting concepts. You can just do a little bit of reading and just take some notes about what is appealing. You know, watch a few videos on there, read a few articles about different styles of investing in the share market, about property investment, about precious metals, and just get a bit of a feel and see what captures your imagination and your attention.
Adrian Reid: 44:30
And once you’ve got that you, then it’s about refining the google search if you like, you know, uh, you know, once investing is very, very broad, I want to invest so I can be free. That’s great. OK, let’s get more specific. So the first thing is figure out where you’re going to focus in and drill down. And then once you’ve drove down, there’s probably another decision where you do a bit of learning, OK, I want to invest in the stock market. Good. Do I want to be like Warren Buffet and by good value companies, do I want a big like Adrian and have a systematic approach that takes me five to 10 minutes a day and it’s basically driven by rules and software or do I want to be like someone else? You know, there’s lots of different ways, but if you do a little bit of blending across the spectrum, then you can decide on the one you want to drill into.
Adrian Reid: 45:17
Then you drill down and that’s where you go and investigate your education because at that point you know what you want. I’m one of the things that I see often, which are, you know, it really upsets me about the financial education market is people will go to a seminar and they’ll see someone speak who is teaching trading to teaching property and they’ll, you know, get all hyped up and excited. They’ll spend it to $3,000, $4,000 on that course and now it gets to the course and it’s completely not what they need because they haven’t done a little bit of research themselves to understand the spectrum. They’ve just been enamored by this girl on stage. So I like, I like to encourage people to kind of understand the spectrum, choose their nation, and then drill down and then invest in the, in the courses of the education.
Adrian Reid: 46:09
Another great source is, um, you, to me it’s a online, a quarter, maybe, maybe you can put a link below, but it’s a, it’s an online aggregation, sort of science courses and trainings in all sorts of things and it can get a lot of courses is very, very cheap or free on there and you know, to get a cheap introductory costs and you get into it and you hide it as a pretty good deal that it’s not worth investing $5,000 in a deeper course on that topic, right? Because you’re going to hate it if you had to tell him stuff, stuff with a passion so you can use some of these other things to figure out your niche, you know, waiting, want to focus where we really want to learn and then you go and invest in the real cost to put a couple of thousand dollars into a program to really learn and master that thing. So you can get started and make some money.
Caty Hendriks: 46:58
I have heaps of questions, but I think, uh, and we’re already 45 minutes. So I just want to say, if you want to know more about this subject, just write down in the comments your questions and Adrian and I will repeat to them and, uh, uh, you can also see that we put out a free download there. So Adrian already talks about the 10 steps to this, about a s investments. If he wants to have more help about the communication, just give me a call and I’m just reach out to us. We’re really glad to help you. And so let us know what you’re wondering about what you think about it. Just gets more comments. If you only see this later, just keep on writing the comments. No problem at all. I think Adrian, it’s the same for you, that you really would love to help other people to get started and if they have questions.
Adrian Reid: 47:53
Yeah, absolutely. Look, I’m, I’m super passionate about getting the finances right in relationships. And so if you’ve got questions about how, how we do that, um, then then post them below in the comments. And, uh, you know, if you got questions about a particular investment vehicle, I had to deal with the particular issue. This is not a financial advice column. OK, this is just two people who have had a whole lot of experience about relationships and money, so, you know, we can give you some direction and guidance, um, but, um, you know, ask you questions and we’ll give you some, some direction about where to look and learn more and certainly adding our perspective. So we need to do that. And uh, oh, watch the thread and answer questions as people as people posted. That’ll be cool.
Caty Hendriks: 48:35
Thanks very much. Adrian, I love to listen to you. I will come back to you with more questions. I already know that now. So be prepared. Yeah, I speak to you later and thanks for today. Have a really great evening because you’re in Australia, aren’t you?
Adrian Reid: 48:52
I am, yes. It’s a that a [inaudible] in the evening right now. So almost time to sign off, a little bit more what to do. But um,
Caty Hendriks: 49:00
yeah, it was great. So thank you very much for your time, your free time and evening then also, so thanks a lot and see you next time. Bye. Bye now.